When your group grows in size or your members feel more comfortable talking, you will inevitably find yourself racing against the clock. The time crunch is actually a sign of relational and spiritual health, so pat yourself on the back. There are several simple things that can help your group stick to your agreed schedule:

1. Check in with the group to problem-solve.
2. Start the opening prayer even if only a few people are gathered in the circle. Others who are chatting will see that the meeting is beginning.
3. Begin your meeting a little early or ask for a later ending time.
4. If you split up into circles of three or four people for discussion, you will double the amount of time any one person can share.
5. Appoint a timekeeper to keep the group on schedule.
6. Remind everyone to give brief answers.
7. Don't have everyone answer every question. For some questions, one or two people's answers are enough. Only a few questions require answers from everyone.
8. Be selective in the number of questions you try to discuss.
9. Use the time suggestions in your study guide to plan your schedule before the group meeting begins.

At the beginning or end of your group meeting, gather members into "prayer triplets" to share about and pray for three non-Christian friends. Try to stay updated on the plans and progress from each of the circles. Groups only need to meet for ten minutes at every other meeting—or once a month at the very least. This single strategy will increase your group's evangelistic effectiveness.

At first, some members may feel overwhelmed by this challenge. Pray that, over time, their hearts will be renewed for lost people.

If you meet in pairs, twenty minutes should give each person ten minutes to talk. During this time, partners should encourage and challenge each other. If one person doesn't know how they should be serving God, his partner should identify gifts in him and suggest ways he should be serving.

Stay on task and time the ten minutes. Notify them when they should shift focus to the other partner. Finally, give them a one-minute warning before their time is up. If you have circles of three, they'll need to trim their sharing time accordingly. If you don't watch the clock, you'll lose time to pray and worship as a group.

Let group members voice their confusion and pain. They need you to be the Good Shepherd's hands, eyes, and ears in this conversation; they need you to be sensitive and caring about their pain. You don't need to solve their problems, defend God, or answer their questions and doubts. You just need to listen and care.

Try to avoid covering your awkwardness in the moment by filling it with words—there are no quick fixes to complex problems. Minimizing someone's pain by trying to solve it quickly prevents you from communicating Christ's heart. God is very capable of healing someone's hurts.

You may decide that someone's need is so important that the group should stop for a while and care for her. Or, you may decide after a few minutes to put a hand on someone's shoulder, pray briefly and compassionately for him, and let the group move on. It's okay if someone cries—just pass the tissues. Model Paul's teaching that we are to mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). You can see why this would be a good time to gather in smaller (safer) circles for this discussion.

Your group members don't need you to lecture them about faith. They need you to demonstrate it by the way you deal with your own suffering, by your eagerness to spend personal time with God, and by the way you care for them when they're in pain.

To maintain momentum, it's best if the leadership strategically selects a core curriculum for the next series. If you don't direct your small group leaders on what's next, they generally won't proceed with the next study in a timely matter. Give them direction.

After completing 40 Days, small group leaders typically descend on Christian bookstores. Often, they pick curriculum that is more in-depth or extensive than the group should be studying, and then the group doesn't follow through. Perhaps it's too long, or maybe it doesn't stick with the fundamentals. The key is to keep them in 6-weeks segments, which leadership pre-selects, until the group establishes itself.

One of the most powerful things you can do with your small group is attend church together. Decide together what service you'll attend, and go together for the duration of your six-week study. It's a way to connect on a deeper level. When you sit in community, you don't feel alone and, consequently, experience worship differently. Go to lunch afterwards and spend time fellowshipping and talking about the sermon.

Never run from challenges, questions, or even conflict in your group. Remember, the Bible says "Iron sharpens iron." The group that doesn't have sparks actually doesn't have as much life. Healthy groups have conflict.

There are practical things you can do, however, to ensure that conflict doesn't dominate your small group. First, agree to make a small group covenant. This agreement outlines the ground rules for your group. If you write down your expectations early on, conflict will occur less later on.

Second, facilitate discussion to help evaluate the progress of your group. After a few weeks, assess how things are going and just throw out the questions: "Guys how's it going? What is one thing you like, one thing you think you'd change if you could?" You may want to have them do it on 3x5 cards to make it safer. Issues that arise from these responses are ones to address immediately so controversy doesn't ensue.

A small group consists of between 8 and 12 members. You are able to choose how your group gets formed—your church can either assign people to your group or you can just invite them yourself! Here are what your options look like:

A. Friends of the Host: You may fill your group with people you know from your church or with your spiritually seeking friends who do not attend.

B. Friends of the Church: Your small group ministry team or person will automatically assign church people who sign up for your time and type of group unless you inform the team that your group is filled with those you have personally invited.

C. Friends of Friends: Friends of Friends are another primary way a Host may fill their groups. One couple knows another couple and they know about 10 other people, the rest is history.

Focus on feeding their needs. A group can be meaningful to its participants for many reasons, from relationships to physical, mental, and emotional needs being met, to accomplishing a goal together, to serving a greater good together—the essence is in "doing life together."

Lifetogether has designed curriculum with exercises, questions, group ideas, and leader lifters to help you find the mix that will make your groups meaningful for members. Doing life together as a group—be it good or bad—creates memories and bonds that are not easily broken—much like family.

God created us to be in relationship with Him first and then with each other. Figure out what your groups want by listening. The results of feeding their needs will never disappoint.

Because groups don't usually meet at church, childcare is an issue. Here are five solutions to meet your children's needs.

• If your groups are comprised of people from the same neighborhood, have the kids meet in one house and the adults in the house next door.

• Rotate the parents on a schedule, or hire a babysitter to care for the kids.

• Have lessons for the kids, not just babysitting.

• If you hire a babysitter, have all parents chip in to pay him/her.

• Each family hires its own babysitter and leaves the children at home.

It's important for the group host/leader to free the member from feeling shame or guilt about going to another group.

It's a natural process that begins with the host/leader helping them find the right shepherd. It also helps when groups free the members to shop around until they find the right fit.

We have found over time that people move from one group to another based on their personal spiritual journey and the season of a group. It's important that members have the ability and flexibility to move to different groups that meet their needs best.

Let them know that everyone is always ignorant in some areas and gifted in others. This is the value of the body of Christ. If you are a leader, that doesn't mean you are an expert. If you are a member, that doesn't mean you don't have anything to contribute. It means that God will use people with other gifts to accentuate the purpose and the mission statement of the group.

It might also be helpful to develop team roles for each member of the group. Group members assist the group in whatever area they are interested or have expertise in.

We recommend five primary roles for every small group, and it's best if more than one person shares each position.

Here are the teams:

• Fellowship Team - hosts social events or group activities.
• Discipleship Team - ensures every person in the group has a simple plan and spiritual partner.
• Ministry Team - ensures that each person finds a group role or a purpose team responsibility.
• Evangelism Team - coordinates the group prayer and praise list of non-Christian friends and family members.
• Worship Team - maintains the weekly group prayer and praise list or journal, or lead a brief worship time using the worship songs on the companion DVD to each Lifetogether curriculum.

In Scripture, the apostle Paul shares how his personality was once a liability. It got in the way of his serving God. But when he let God take over, God started using those very same personality traits as assets in his service. If you've ever wished you had a different personality, you need to know that God doesn't make mistakes. You and everyone else in your small group can be examples of people who aren't perfect but who are letting God work through their personalities to serve him.

It really depends upon the group. A task group, which meets for the primary purpose of serving together in a ministry, might meet as little as ten minutes—enough time to pray and encourage each other and perhaps have a short devotional. A home study group, on the other hand, could last up to three hours.

Meeting time is unique to each group and its overall mission. But it should always be worked out in the small group covenant process at the beginning of the study. Every six to eight weeks, the group should readdress the covenant. At this time, the group can decide to shorten or lengthen the meeting time.

Being an effective leader demands planning and a prayerful heart.

When you go to prepare for each small group meeting, review the session and the leader's notes, and write down your responses to each question. Be sure you understand how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies (such as paper or pens) to your meeting.

Also, as you prepare, pray for your group members by name. Before you begin your session, go around the room in your mind and pray for each member. You may want to review the prayer list at least once a week. Ask God to use your time together to touch the heart of every person. Expect God to lead you to whomever he wants you to encourage or challenge in a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead!

One final challenge (especially for new or first-time leaders): Before your first opportunity to lead, look up each of the five passages listed below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help prepare yourself with a shepherd's heart:

1. Matthew 9:36
2. 1 Peter 5:2–4
3. Psalm 23
4. Ezekiel 34:11–16
5. 1 Thessalonians 2:7–8, 11–12

Jot down the names of people in your circle of friends and ask, "Is this someone I'd like to do life together with or hang out with for six weeks?" He or she doesn't have to be a person of faith.

At Lifetogether, we consult with many churches, and in some, 40 percent of people starting new groups invite those who …

• Do not know Christ
• Are new in their relationship with Christ
• Are not growing in their relationship with Christ
• Have never been in a small group
• Haven't made spiritual life decisions

Inviting your non-believing friend to your small group may be the easiest way to share Christ in a non-threatening, natural, and authentic way.